I've been thinking a lot about a birthday party I went to early this month

I went with the wife to the Esplanade yesterday to a showing of Bill's 44th, a puppet show by Dorothy James and Andy Manjuck. Check the trailer out:

We both cried like babies -- it's very good.

Spoilers ahead, I guess

Bill

Bill's 44th is a puppet show about age and growing old. A coming-of-middle-age story, if you will.

The puppetry was really, really well done -- it's like they used The Animator's Survival Kit as a reference on how things should move -- it was really cool to see.

I wanted to go in as blind as I could, and I came in expecting to laugh at some slapstick (which the show delivered on!), but I had a feeling what kind of show this would be from the get-go. The soundtrack was really good at amplifying that feeling -- I was pretty much already primed to cry as soon as I sat down. Here, have a listen to one of my favorite tracks:

The play has us follow Bill on his 44th birthday, going through the kind of emotional rollercoaster you would probably feel if nobody came to your 44th birthday. For a wordless play, it was really good at making you feel every emotion Bill is going through. It's also really good at telling us about Bill. Bill is a clean man. Bill is watching his health, but doesn't mind letting loose on special occasions. Bill likes to dance.

As time passes and we see that nobody is going to his party, we see his imagination (and also the liquor his guests would've had) take him to really weird places, starting with imagining his balloons and his party snacks keeping him company -- but even they become indifferent. (Except Cary the Carrot. Cary's real as hell.)

It goes to a psychedelic recollection of his life through mini-Bill, and it's here that we get to know him even deeper. He maybe wanted to be a pilot as kid. He liked making people happy with his dancing. People became less and less impressed with him every year. He works at an office now. Fewer and fewer celebrate his birthday with him every year.

Mini-Bill attacks him -- out of self-hatred, out of a resentment of just how mediocre Bill becomes. Bill is scared, but he realizes "Hey... that's me". And tries to be his friend. Mini-Bill is reluctant at first, but they eventually connect and do some silly dances.

Just listen to the soundtrack they play when they dance, man. I'm tearing up again just listening to it.

Bill has forgiven himself, and he's learning to love himself, and this music feels so much like that. I was tearing up before this part, but here I start bawling.

Bill remembers he has a cake in the fridge so he takes it out. Everyone in the audience was singing him a Happy Birthday. The wife and I had to sing through tears.

A review from the wife

"Bill's 44th was a really interesting play in terms of its themes and the medium it was communicated through. Thing is -- we both cried not due to the technical mastery of these puppeteers (which was excellent, damn), but how well it conveyed these universal human experiences."

Birthdays

Birthdays can be such a lonely time, can't they? Every year the cruel, cruel indifference of the world wears you down on a day that's supposed to be a celebration of your life. It's a reminder every year for some people that they're not where they want to be, or that they haven't done a lot of the things they want to do, or that they're slowly dying.

But it's important to remember that through it all, you were there for yourself. You may have made some mistakes along the way, you may not be where you want to be, but you've lived every day of your life trying the best you can with the cards you've been dealt -- and birthdays are just a reminder that past you has gotten current you through another year, with or without anybody else's help.

Afterthoughts

• I think it was SUPER cute that the theatre we were at was doing this thing where if you were turning 44 this year they gave you a free gift.

• I really really want for there to be a recording of this play so I can watch it again and share it with people. Unfortunately all I can really do now is spread word of it like this so that when Bill's 44th comes to you 🫵, then you can go watch it yourself. Highly recommend, especially if you resonate a lot with this KIRINJI song:

and/or like the aesthetics of the works of Jack Stauber.

Look out for tour dates on their website and their Instagram.

Also maybe ask them to do some kind of digital version.